Monday, October 4, 2010

Being Too Serious Can Ruin Your Success

Are you having fun? Do you get a thrill from your work? Do you enjoy waking up each morning?

Myths about work can hurt your progress. "Work is not supposed to be fun." "You must buckle down and get serious."

Perhaps the biggest myth of all: "People will think I’m important if I act seriously." Yet getting serious creates problems: stress, worry, anxiety, emotional pain, drudgery and failure.

Resolving problems by getting more serious is like fixing a computer with a hammer. The harder you try, the worse the problem becomes.

"When life becomes serious, a man becomes less cause and greater effect. If life gets really serious, his value drops to practically zero. Driving a car can become such serious business that one can wreck the car. Running a business can become so serious as to make it fail. There is a direct connection between insanity and seriousness." "It is only when an individual progresses in life to a point where much seriousness is attached to things that he begins to have a hard time. The ancient Italian really knew what he was about when he considered that the only psychotherapy was laughter." — L. Ron Hubbard

12 Ways to Lighten Up

Approaching your life with a non-serious attitude gives you a clearheaded view of difficulties and the energy to deal with them. Problems are easier to solve, people are more cooperative and you feel more relaxed. You probably live longer and more successfully, as well.

Try these ideas until you find one that lightens you up.

1. Deliberately turn a molehill into a mountain. Make a big deal out of a little problem. "I would feel much better if these papers were stacked exactly like this! Not like that! Like this! Not this! This!"

2. Ask yourself, "Is getting serious about this situation really going to improve it?"

3. Focusing on the positives. "What is right about this situation?" "What else is right?" "What else?"

4. Consider a complete, major change. For example, go back to school, move to the ocean, start a new career.

5. Ask yourself, "When I’m on my deathbed, will I be glad I was so serious about _______?"

6. A challenging game is much better than no game at all. So consider losing all aspects of the problem. Examples: You feel serious about family problems. You ask yourself, "Well, what if I had no family at all?" You feel serious about your investments. You ask yourself, "What if I had no money to invest?"

7. The size of your problem may match the size of your game. So get a bigger game. For example, if you get uptight about paper clips being in the wrong drawer, your game size is tiny. Double your amount of responsibility. Set some huge goals. Succeed by thinking much, much bigger.

8. Stop trying to solve the problem that is making you so serious. Certain types of problems solve themselves if you leave them alone. Your problem may be one of those.

9. Compare what you are doing to other careers. Imagine being a septic tank drainer or a tax collector.

10. Make everyone around you lighten up.

11. Look at bizarre solutions. What is the craziest way you could solve your problem? What solution, if it worked, would make you laugh out loud?

TIPS FOR SUCCESS AT WORK

The Road to Success is in the Fast Lane

You succeed based on the quality of your work, the amount of work we can do and one other factor: speed. How fast can you go?

"THE RAPIDITY OF PARTICLE FLOW ALONE DETERMINES POWER." — L. Ron Hubbard

The power and progress of our society is based on speed. When your particle flow (information, services, goods and so on) is slow, the rest of the world speeds on by.

For example, can you imagine working without a computer, telephone, fax machine or the Internet?

Can you imagine traveling without a car or an airplane?

Imagine being in a world where the telegraph and railroad were major improvements.

Business Speed

Speed of particle flow determines the power of a business. The faster the business’ particles (service, sales, payment, delivery and so on) the more prosperous it becomes.

For example, you want to buy carpet for your home. Two companies sell the exact carpet you want.

One says, "We can install it in six weeks" and the other says, "We can install it tomorrow." Who do you pick?

If the price and quality are comparable, the company that can deliver the goods the fastest always wins in the end. In many cases, speed is more important than quality or price.

For example, fresh ripe tomatoes from Mexico in February may cost more, but they sell out quickly. Without fast delivery, they are inedible.

Imagine fast service in all areas.

You call and say, "Hello, I was calling to see if you could send someone to fix my furnace."

The furnace company says, "Is ten minutes okay?"

You call your dentist and ask, "How soon can I see the doctor?"

The receptionist says, "How about 1:00 today?"

You call an auto dealer and say, "I’d like a fully-loaded 2003 Midnight Blue Mercedes 450SL with white leather seats."

The dealer says, "It’s right here. You can pick it up or we can deliver it to you in an hour."

Business owners who take forever to make decisions soon lose money. Managers who can spot problems and correct them within minutes are valuable and hard to find. Workers who move like lightening are soon promoted.

Companies that can quickly change their direction are the most successful. For example, chain bookstores did not start selling books over the Internet until Amazon.com was in business long enough to work out their systems and take over the market. Chain bookstores lost millions because they took too long to act.

Personal Success

How quickly can you move the particles (communications, projects, services and so on) in your life or work? How fast are you?

When you wait, avoid and make excuses, you kill your speed. You delay your success.

When you respond quickly, act without delay and complete tasks faster than anyone else, you have power.

For example, high-school graduates Lynn and Chris both want to become school teachers.

Lynn says, "I’ve got all those years of school in front of me. I’m taking a year off to ride my bike around Europe before I start."

Chris says, "I can’t wait to teach. I’m taking classes this summer and will get my degree in three years."

Who do you think becomes the other’s principal?

The only road to significant success is in the fast lane.

Ten Tips for Speeding up Your Success

1. Jump into projects as soon as possible.

2. Act quickly on opportunities. If you see what you want, jump on it before you lose the chance.

3. Push yourself to walk faster, talk faster, read faster and move faster.

4. Keep up your speed with good habits: sufficient sleep, good food, regular exercise and so on.

5. Reduce or eliminate people or things that delay or stop you from moving quickly.

6. Whenever you think something can’t be done quickly, ask "Why not?"

7. Constantly look for faster methods to get the same result.

8. Send and return communications with as little delay as possible.

9. Set tough deadlines for completing tasks and make them.

10. Challenge yourself by taking on more work than ever and getting it done in less time than ever.

How to Kill the Green-eyed Monster

Nothing can ruin a relationship or marriage faster than jealously. Jealousy creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate, fear. No one thinks clearly when jealous.

Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even repulsive.

No one wants a jealous mate and no one likes being jealous. So what causes jealousy?

"Jealousy is the largest factor in breaking up marriages. Jealousy comes about because of the insecurity of the jealous person and the jealousy may or may not have foundation. This person is afraid of hidden communication lines and will do anything to try to uncover them." — L. Ron Hubbard

When you are jealous, a line of communication is going on with your spouse or lover that is hidden from you. The mystery causes the pain. If you witnessed your spouse’s communication line, so it was not hidden from you, you would not feel jealous.

Hidden communication lines or mysteries make you think of questions. "Will she find someone she likes better than me?" "Is he having an affair?" "Is she going to leave me?" "Does he think I’m unattractive?"

When you are jealous, the mystery makes you assume the worst. "Maybe he’ll fall in love with his cute receptionist and leave me." "She’s going to lunch with her old boyfriend because she’s still attracted to him." "He’ll come home and tell me he wants a divorce."

So how do you handle your feelings of jealousy? How do you deal with a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend who is jealous?

Solutions

"Communication is the root of marital success from which a strong union can grow, and non-communication is the rock on which the ship will bash out her keel*." — L. Ron Hubbard (*Keel: The main structural part of a ship that goes from bow to stern—front to back.)

If you are jealous, you need to communicate. You need to stop assuming the worst and ask questions. Communicate your feelings so you can work out solutions.

Bob says to his wife, "I don’t want to feel this jealously. I want to get rid of it by asking you a question, okay? Good. So are you attracted to Joe?"

His wife says, "Heavens no! Joe just wanted some help with his son. I love YOU like crazy!"

Bang! The hidden communication is revealed. The mystery is resolved. Bob feels much better.

If Bob doesn’t communicate, his wife’s communication with Joe makes Bob jealous, afraid and angry. Their marriage suffers.

If your mate is jealous, make sure you have no hidden lines of communication. "Would you like to read this letter from Jill?" "Can you meet with Joe to help with his son?"

Use communication to resolve the problem. For example, you notice Marcia is acting upset and not talking. You ask yourself, "What communication line might be hidden from Marcia?" You realize she’s been acting annoyed ever since you started working for an attractive female boss.

"Marcia, have I told you about my new boss?" Marcia jumps up and now wants to talk. You communicate the facts and remove the mystery. Marcia is cheerful and wants to go to a movie.

As well as using communication to resolve mysteries, communicate your feelings for your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Tell him or her how you feel. Express your love. Show your affection.

Resolve the mysteries of the past. Discuss your feelings in the present. Make plans for the future. Because of communication, your relationship will be a big success.

L. Ron Hubbard also writes, "Jealousy comes about because of the insecurity of the jealous person. . . ." Mr. Hubbard’s discoveries on insecurity are outlined in his book, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, available in our bookstore.